future

To see others go for their dreams, goals, ambitions has me thinking. Why should I be the one to be stuck in a ruck. I do have dreams, and goals. Give me two more years at TCC and I will be graduating with an associates in applied science in EMS. Give me four years and I will be graduating from ODU or some good university in either marketing or management. After my two years at tcc. any further advancement in education will be the benefit of me and my desire to better myself. Not to pave my future, thus nothing to really sweat over. I smile at those who judge my decision to keep my education at bay. While they are working tirelessly to get out of debt, I will have a career by the time I hit the big time school. At the rate I am going, by the time I hit 22, I will have my own house. I will make this post to publically promise that I will accomplish these education dreams.

1:graduate with aas in ems at tcc
2:transfer with as many credits from tcc to odu as possible
3: attend odu at my OWN pace
4:bachelors? masters?
5:smile

long time no type.

So i have not been using this since 09 haha. LONG ass time. So much has happened since that time. I guess I have changed for the better since 09. A little bit more mature. A little bit more wiser. Still same smile.
Things have changed:

1)new job
2)new vehicle
3) mo money mo problems
4) verge of moving out
5)paying for school

Things that have been on my mind:
1) from a suggestion from a friend I needed a hobby since december. The jeep has been getting a face lift but there is so much you can do. It is not keeping my mind busy
2) regression. three months and i feel like shit.it has been brewing but, it wasnt anything i could of done. why am I the one who feels like this. 3 months of faking fine. while the other looks and seems to be fine. no cosmic justice. slowly eats me. i miss us
3) my taste in music is changing from hxc, metal to hip hop now to country (someone shoot me). I don't know why it is changing but it is.

Possible things to look forward to:

1)volunteer fire department
2)emt
3)summer.

questions?

Lately Ive been questioning everything, my own capability to my future. Then I have been looking back and questioning what went down.

Did I make the right decision when I cut myself off from the personal situation at hand? especially when i thought it was to protect me?

What if I let it play out? What road would it lead us down?

I don't know if i had made the right decision. I don't know if I want to go fix what i thought i did not break.

: X the charisma is gone?

It used to be so simple to chit chat. talk. i guess it has changed. i second guess myself, in the capability to talk.

I always knew how to strike up a conversation.
but now it seems harder and harder to do.
especially with the person i want to strike it with.

its something that needs to be addressed and werked on quickly.

:)

i feel giddy as a girl. Date i think went well. I see a second in the the horizon.

I AM COOL!

anywho, this weekend seems to be looking good right now because of the date. it brightens my week up.

i end this entry with:

NERRRRRRRRF WWWWWWAAAAAAARRRR
thank you

DATE

i got me a date tonight! i am so excited. and nervous. We are going out to eat and stroll on the boardwalk. cant wait. :) :)

this weekend

I have A LOT to do tomorrow with the DC trip and degrees. Plus i would like to start and finish on some English paper. I will be running on empty for quite a while. I hope i don't blog to much about time management haha. Its just an important topic for right now, learning how to balance time is a fundamental tool that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.


tomorrow:
1: DC trip plus degrees
2: ENGLISH PAPER
3: write up rules for nerf war
4: read for psychology
5: sleep

food for thought:

music choices:
1: A day to remember- gets you pumped and ready for the day... my cup of coffee
2: chiodos- makes u wanna sing with the dood
3: fall of troy- makes u wanna jam